How best to survive being a best man?
April 30, 2010
I’m being a best man on friday and I need some tips on public speaking, as I’m not really accustomed to it. I have the speech, I think it’s pretty good – well, ok at least – but I am incredibly nervous and my buggest fear is not being able to speak well through fear. Any suggestions on how to approach this?
Fear of public speaking is very common. In your case, although you’ll be speaking publicly, your statements will be directed toward the couple. My suggestion is that you remember you’ll be talking to the couple, as opposed to the crowd. Focus on them when you talk. Weddings aren’t like presentations at work. The crowd is a lot more happy, and a lot less judgmental. I’ve been to a wedding or two in my day. By the time speeches are made, half of the crowd is half tanked. You should make sure you’re not. Save most of your drinking until AFTER your speech is made, but one or two might loosen you up. In the meantime, read your speech over and over again, until you can say it without reading it from a paper. Feeling confident that you can say all the words, without tripping over your tongue, will keep you from feeling as nervous.
Remember that it’ll be over in a few seconds.
6 Responses to “How best to survive being a best man?”
Don’t think about the crowd, just give your speech and talk to the groom as you are doing it. Nobody is going to be that concerned with it, and a lot of people will probably be drunk, so just keep that in mind and go with the flow. Try to have fun with it.
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By jon d on Apr 30, 2010
Fear of public speaking is very common. In your case, although you’ll be speaking publicly, your statements will be directed toward the couple. My suggestion is that you remember you’ll be talking to the couple, as opposed to the crowd. Focus on them when you talk. Weddings aren’t like presentations at work. The crowd is a lot more happy, and a lot less judgmental. I’ve been to a wedding or two in my day. By the time speeches are made, half of the crowd is half tanked. You should make sure you’re not. Save most of your drinking until AFTER your speech is made, but one or two might loosen you up. In the meantime, read your speech over and over again, until you can say it without reading it from a paper. Feeling confident that you can say all the words, without tripping over your tongue, will keep you from feeling as nervous.
Remember that it’ll be over in a few seconds.
References :
By bill b on Apr 30, 2010
Just relax and say what you feel.
References :
Been there, done that.
By mebo on Apr 30, 2010
Don’t get drunk before the speech and don’t tell anything too risque or embarrassing about the bride/groom and you will do fine.
Everyone will be there to celebrate the day, not to critique your public speaking
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By Missus on Apr 30, 2010
Try not to think of it as a speech. Practice a bit at home, to where you’re comfortable with what you’re saying, if you can get an audience family or friends they can give you pointers of where you may need help. But if it’s coming from the heart it will probably just flow – it’s not how long the speech, but what’s said – and again if it’s something you know and is personal to you the easier it is to say, because you’re comfortable with what your saying.
Example if I were a mechanic and asked to give a speech on brain surgery – OUCH! But if I were a mechanic and asked to show someone how to change oil – no brainer the words flow.
So look at your best friend and his spouse to be and think of who they are as a couple, who they are to you… and go with that.
Good luck – you’ll do fine – don’t think about the audience speak as if you’re speaking just to them. Take a deep breath – and DON’T have too much to drink prior.
Oh and speak slow – most people will rush thru it trying to get it over, but SLOW down, speak loudly and don’t stare at your notes – you don’t need to make eye contact, but just turn your head around the room not making eye contact with anyone in particular. But toward the end direct it AT the couple as you’re raising your glass (if you’re making a toast).
Good luck – you’re obviously a good friend, and he’s lucky to have you.
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By Renee S on Apr 30, 2010
Just remember, it’s not your big day, it’s the Bride’s & Groom’s day. Everyone will be smiling and being teary-eyed at them while you speak. Some Best Men actually have them come up with them so that it’s more of a conversation with them than a speech. That way, they’re right up there and the attention is more on them, even if you’re speaking.
For basic advice, just relax. You don’t have to give a great oration like you’re reuniting North & South. You’re the Best Man. You obviously are related/have a strong bond with the Groom, so just speak as proudly and as happily as you’ll be after you watch them tie the knot. Trust me, once that’s done, you’ll be glad to speak more than worried. And by all means, don’t be afraid of the crowd. If you wrote the speech already, then it won’t be that terrible. Even if you stutter or lose your place (which are, of course, to be avoided if possible), no one is going to judge you for being a poor speaker. They are going to judge you for being a good Best Man.
Good luck!
References :
The Best Man’s Handbook by James Grace – Excellent Reference (especially on the speech)
By cls4690 on Apr 30, 2010