Best Man Speeches

Funny best man speech

May 2, 2010

Hello everybody, firstly would also like to take this opportunity to say and I am sure that you will all agree that the bridesmaids look absolutely fantastic today and the bride herself looks so stunning and as for Yogya . . Hes just stunned.. On behalf of the bridesmaids & myself I would like to thank Yogya & Sally for asking us to be involved on their very special day.

Ladies and Gentleman I hope you all having a wonderful time. By the way my name is Dilip. Well my full name is actually Dilip what-would-you-like-to-drink? I hope many of you will come and say hello at the bar later – but I do insist you use my full name.

I have never been a best man before, and I am not renowned for my speech giving, But I’ll try my best, ””cause Yogya said if I do a good job today, I can be Best Man at his next wedding, too.

I wanna say a little about being best man. I feel the title best man says a bit too much. The way I see it, if I am best man, what the is Sally doing with Yogya? So I think I will be happy just saying that I’m a pretty good man, and Yagya can be the best man tonight.

The first thing a best man ( Well Pretty Good Man) is supposed to do in his speech is let everybody from the brides side know what sort of man Sally has married.Ok here goes……
Yogya is caring, loving, funny, charming,generous, Intelligent, friendly, suave..Suave ?? sorry mate, I dont think thats how you spell suave. Well you get the idea …… he”s a decent bloke.

I met Yogya about 9 years ago. By the way I can’t remember our early days because of my short-term memory. I even couldn’t find any jokes to tell you guys about him so had to search on the internet and found some.Well I’m not so good at telling the jokes but I love to try. If its unfunny please feel free to blame Yogya.

My friend looks very happy today. Doesn’t he? When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a ten-year married man looks happy,we wonder why?

There is saying when a man holds a woman’s hand before marriage, it is love; after marriage, it is self-defense.

A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished. My friend you are finished from today……..never mind just kidding you.

A young couple were married and then embarked on their honeymoon. When they returned, the bride ran to the phone and called her mother, who asked, “How was your honeymoon, dear?” “Oh, mama!” she replied, “The honeymoon was so wonderful and romantic…” But then, suddenly she burst out crying and said “but, mama, as soon as we returned home, he started using the most horrible language… things I’d never heard before! I mean, all these awful 4-letter words! You’ve got to come get me and take me home. Please mama!”
“Darling, darling,” her mother said, “calm down and tell me, what words could be so awful?” And, the daughter cried “please don’t make me tell you, mama! I’m so embarrassed – they’re just too awful! Just come and get me, please!”"Oh, darling, you must tell me what has you so upset… tell me these horrible 4-letter words!” Still sobbing, the bride said, “Oh, mama… words like DUST, WASH, IRON, COOK…!” I hope Yogya wont use these horrible 4-letter words.

Before I finish, I would like to give Yogya some advice on what people thought were the ingredients to a long and happy marriage……. so here are a few.

Firstly, set the ground rules and establish who is boss and then do everything Sally says!

Secondly, never be afraid that Sally will leave you she has spent time training you, she is not going to throw that away lightly!

Thirdly, never forget to say those 3 little words every day for the rest of your life – YOURE RIGHT DEAR!

Whenever youre wrong, be a man and admit it.Whenever youre right, just SAY nothing!

Never go to bed on an argument.always stay up and argue !

And finally remember the 5 rings the engagement ring, the wedding ring, the suffering,the torturing and the enduring

On behalf of the bride & groom I would like to thank everyone here for sharing their very special day and a massive thank you to everyone who has contributed and made the occasion so wonderful.Now it gives me immense pleasure, to invite you all to stand and raise your glasses in a toast to beautiful bridesmaids.Cheers

Duration : 0:9:32

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